Celebrating a Year...

Today marks 365 days passed since I had my life-changing surgery.  There really are no words to describe what this journey has been like for me.  There have been both tears of frustration and tears of joy.  There have been a LOT of little victories.  But the biggest victory is that I no longer have to be a bystander in my own life, I can be a participant.  Not only have I lost weight but I've transformed my outlook.  I am more positive and optimistic.  I am setting goals for myself and for our family.  I'm living life.

My kids finally have a mom who can physically keep up with them (well most of the time - lol).  I can walk around with a 3 year old hanging on my leg.  I can scoop up my 1 year old and swing her around while kissing her baby belly.  My husband has a wife that doesn't need to rely on him to keep up with the house all alone.  I can carry and move things and I can clean stuff without assistance.  And he can actually pick me up now (which was a secret goal of mine b/c what girl doesn't want to be swept off her feet?!)

I've realized that I have accomplished a major task and if I did this, then I can accomplish other things I set my mind to (well honestly my therapist helped me realize that).  

Anyway, I don't have an official before/after photo for 1 year yet but this should do:

And for good measure - here's some before:

These photos are painful for me to look at because I remember how I felt emotionally and it was ugly.  I really truly hated myself.  And if I were to be 100% truthful, sometimes I felt like I was better off dead.

But nothing speaks louder than these photos of me LIVING:

I LOVE looking at pictures of myself now, not because of the weight loss but because I'm happy in them and I can focus on the memory contained in the photo instead of the ugliness I used to feel inside.  That's a remarkably new thing for me :)

I'm meeting with my surgeon for my 1 year follow up this afternoon but here are my current stats:

Starting Weight: 314 lbs

Current Weight: 167 lbs

Total Lost: 147 lbs!!

Thank you to my husband Shawn for all of his support and encouragement.  Even when I was questioning myself, he never faltered.  He had complete faith in me and still does.  Love you honey bunny!

Thank you to all of my family and friends for your cheer-leading skills and listening to my occasional whine.

I hope to keep up on here but it's slowed down as life has gotten more crazy and busy, but I'm truly loving it.  That's how it's supposed to be :)  

Hallelujah! I'm overweight!!

Most people wouldn't celebrate being overweight!  But today I am because for the first time in over 10 years, I am no longer obese according to the BMI scale!!  This accomplishment may not be a big deal to some but to have come so far in just over 6 short months leaves me scratching my head sometimes.  It's almost as if I blinked and here I am.  Down 124 pounds and several clothing sizes.  There have been a lot of tears, a lot of frustrations and even celebrations on this journey. 

And this is not the end of the journey by any means.  I still have more weight to lose and then I have a lifetime of maintenance ahead of me.  But I just wanted to take this brief moment to reflect on all that I have achieved so far and celebrate this little victory!

I also am reaching out to you right now.  If you are at a point in your life where you are contemplating starting a journey - ANY kind of journey, please ask yourself one thing - "What am I waiting for?".  Stop saying that you will start tomorrow or next week.  There will never be a "right time" or perfect moment.  You have to make it happen for yourself.  The worst thing to have in life are regrets and time is wasting away while you mull it over.  I know it's cliché but life is way too damn short and you should be living it. 

Two years ago my doctor told me that my obesity was going to steal 20 years from my life.  But what it really would have stolen was time with two beautiful girls that are my reason for breathing and I wasn't about to give that up.      Precious moments like college graduations, weddings, grandchildren.  Time I certainly wasn't willing to throw away like trash.  Because my girls are worth all the time in the universe.  And you and I are worth it too.

So there it is!  Start that career, go back to school, lose the weight, marry them, get pregnant - start your moments before you lose time!

::Steps down from soapbox::

Ahem, and now back to your regularly scheduled programming....

Love,
Danielle

6 Months Since My Surgery!

I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon's office yesterday, marking 6 months since I was "reborn".  It was clear from their smiles that they were happy with my results just by looking at me.  My NP said she could just see that I was healthy.  Even better is when she pulled up my labwork.  It was perfect!! Okay, near perfect.  Everything was on target except my good cholesterol which was slightly low and my vitamin D was also low by 2 points.  So I will be taking vitamin D now instead of my gallbladder medication which I can officially stop taking now :)  She said she wasn't concerned about either of those because they were so close to being in range anyway.

NP said she couldn't be more thrilled with my results.  I am currently down  115 lbs and have lost 67% of my excess body weight.  Their original goal for my 6 month appointment was 80 lbs or 50% of my excess weight.  So I have already surpassed their expectations!  I'm pretty sure she said the words "banner child" at least a few times as well - lol.

I asked her what my goal should be for my next visit at 9 months post-op.  She asked what my "ultimate" goal was.  I told her I'd like to reach 150 lbs.  She made a face and told me she wasn't sure that 150 lbs was a good weight for me based on the fact that I already look healthy at 199.  She concluded that for my 9 month appointment, they'd like me to reach 170 lbs and she will re-evaluate me then and determine if that should be my stopping point or if I should reach for more.

I have to admit that this part of the appointment was a bit disappointing.  I was so determined to get to the number 150 that I never really thought about whether that would be an appropriate goal or not.  Well I did choose it based on BMI but we all know how BMI does not factor in muscle tone or bone mass.  And of course, I won't know until my 9 month appointment if I can keep shooting for that goal or not.  Ultimately though, the scale number doesn't matter.  The only thing that truly matters is that I am healthy and in shape so that I can be the me that I've always dreamed of being.  

And if that is the case, I feel like I've already achieved so much.  I love playing with my girls and feeling fit.  I love that my hubby has an even harder time keeping his hands off me.  I love that when I look in the mirror, I don't see a monster staring back at me.  In fact, even with my scars and stretch marks and rocks in socks - I look at myself and say, "Not too shabby!" 

THAT, my friends, is progress.

Update: 4 Months Post Op

It's been a crazy month.  My stress levels have been through the roof for various reasons.  I've stuck to my plan but I hit the dreaded 3 month stall and didn't lose ANYTHING for nearly 4 weeks.  Talk about going stark raving MAD!!!!  It was beyond frustrating when I was doing everything RIGHT and then to add on the outside stressors like family member health, party planning, work, etc.  It made for a miserable me - just ask hubby!  But alas, these stalls are normal and it won't be my last so I just sucked it up and kept on program.  Eventually, the weight began to budge- thank you baby jesus!

I'm at a little stall again - at least hopefully it's little.  I think the Universe knows how BADLY I want to reach 100lbs lost and so it's messing with me!  C'mon Century Club!!!!

CW: 219
Loss: 95 lbs since surgery

Here are my comparison pics from this month.

As you can tell, things are really starting to sag and droop.  lol.  But that will have to wait.  I've still got 70lbs to go.  Here's hoping I hit my 100 lb loss before this month is over :)

3 Months Post-Op and Scale victory!

April 2nd marked the 3 month anniversary of my surgery (or surgiversary as we post-ops call it)!  Originally, my goal was to hit 75lbs by that day.  As if by magic, I blew past that over the weekend and ended up at 79lbs lost as of yesterday!  And today I actually hit 80 :)

My surgeon wanted me to be at this point by my 6 month post-op appointment.  50% of my excess weight lost!  WOW.  I can tell you that it's exciting but in a jittery nervous sort of way.  My brain still cannot comprehend my new size well. But I feel wonderful and happy!

I don't know where I will be in 3 more months, 6 more months or even a year from now but I am so glad I made the choice that I did because my life has changed for the better.  I've heard the term "glowing" repeatedly. LOL.  In fact, if I had to have this surgery every 5 years to maintain - I would.  It's that worth it.

    

And now for my current thoughts:

Weight loss is hard.  Regardless if you have 10 lbs or over 100 lbs to lose.  Everyone does it their own way but it really irks me when people think surgery is the easy way out.  My surgery is just a tool.  Like I've said before, it doesn't control what I put in my mouth or how I exercise.  I may only be able to eat 3 oz of food, but if I want to, I can eat 3 oz of donuts or cheese fries.  But I don't.  Plus, the decision to have elective bariatric surgery is not something you come upon lightly.  It took me months of deliberation and research before I decided to even sign up for an info session with IMBS.  Even up until the day of your surgery, you second guess yourself and panic that you are making the right decision.  Not to mention you are having a major portion of your stomach removed.  Easy?  No.  

The first week after surgery most patients are asking themselves "why the "f" did I do this?!"  But then, you get into routine and you feel better and then boom you are back to normal and you couldn't be happier.  Then the results start to show which then encourages  you to continue following the plan because - this time it is working.  This time you aren't failing.  Then confidence starts creeping in and soon there is no turning back - you are doing this!

So regardless of your particular weightloss journey - please take the time to encourage those who are struggling and congratulate those succeeding because we are all in this together!  Let's change the way that our children and spouses think about food too so that we can fight the disease of obesity!

I'll try and update with new pics tonight.

Update on my journey

I have been REALLY out of touch people! lol.

So January 2nd is the day I went in for my sleeve.  I was VERY nervous about the pee test. For obvious reasons.  Made it through that part and was wheeled into the OR at the same time as about 6 other patients were being wheeled in.  It was like a caravan of patients.  We all turned into our ORs at the exact same time. Surreal experience!

In my OR, my anesthiologist was making me feel super comfortable.  He was a really nice guy.  One of the nurses remembered me from my last attempt at WLS.  They chatted me up and before I knew it, I was out.

When I woke up in recovery, I was very groggy.  They were waiting for a room for me so I was in recovery for several hours longer than expected.  I was feeling fine and awake.  A very nice male nurse kept me entertained as we joked about the other whiny patients.  I swear if I heard one more dramatic moan of pain - I was going to scream! LOL.

I finally got to my room and Shawn arrived.  It was so good to see his smiling face!  I wasn't allowed to drink for the first 12 hours so my mouth was desert dry.  YUK.  Eventually I could drink (a tiny tiny bit) and the catheter came out (ahhhh).  Surprisingly, the pain was pretty mild and I was up and walking pretty soon after.

The first few weeks of liquid and pureed foods were hard but not terrible.  The worst thing is seeing other people eat the things you want but can't have.  Pizza, chocolate chip cookies, etc.  I cried it out a few times but got through it and it's not as hard to deal with now.

I'm on all foods now but maximizing my weight loss by staying around 600 calories per day, between 60-70g of protein and 64+oz of water daily.  I try to keep my carbs below 40.  I am not eating breads or starchy foods like potatoes and pasta as I'm prioritizing my protein and veggies.  Once I've achieved the results I want, I will adjust accordingly.

Some people don't think that weight loss surgery counts as "losing on your own" or it's the "easy way out" but TRUST ME.  This is the hardest thing I've ever done.  I can still eat whatever I want. I could choose to not follow my doctor's plans.  This is still about willpower and drive.  If I don't exercise, I won't see the results I want.  The surgery doesn't make me exercise - that's all me.  That's what I like about the surgery I chose - the sleeve is still about the patient making the right decisions.  And here I am doing it - and I'm so proud of myself. 

I still have a long way to go, but I feel happier, more energetic and more determined than ever to get healthy - and if I didn't lose another pound after today - I'd still be happy with my decision.

So here are my stats as of my 2 months out at 3/2/13:

PreOp Diet Weight: 314
Surgery Date Weight: 304
1 Month PostOp: 278.6
2 Month PostOp: 258

Here are my 1 month and 2 month comparison photos (same shirt):




This pic is good because you can see the difference big time:


I think I'm going to wear a tighter shirt next time and drop this one.

Anyway - I hope to keep you up to date!

Love,
Danielle

Liquid Diet Day 5 of 5

Oops!  I missed a day!  Anyway, this diet has been easier than I thought.  I'm not saying it was always a cakewalk since handling Oreos and Doritos for my 2 year old caused a lot of mental anguish, BUT I did it.   Not to mention I am down 10 lbs already - granted I'm sure it's water weight but who cares!!!!  And tomorrow the real journey begins.

I'm excited but nervous.  After the surprise of a lifetime the last time I tried to do this, I'm hesitant to get too excited.  Well, here goes nothing.....AND everything.


~Danielle~