Tiny Dagger No. 1: DH and I were at an Irish bar in NE Philly over 5 years ago before we were married. We had a great night! Lots of dancing and drinking. As we were leaving and walking toward our car, a car fully of young guys sped past me and one of them yelled "Fatty" out the window and took off. DH was furious and rushed to the car in an effort to chase them down. Through my tears, I told him not to bother. It was an awful moment in my life.
Tiny Dagger No. 2: From the mouths of babes...I have been told on several occasions by several different little ones over the past few years "You're really big" or "You're fat" or "You're a lot bigger than my mommy". Now of course children don't say things to hurt you on purpose but that's why it hurts even more - because they are honest and don't know that even if something is true that you do not say it out loud.
Tiny Dagger No. 3: In January I turned 30. To celebrate, my DH and I decided to fly to Las Vegas for a few days. For the first time, I sat in my seat on the airplane (aisle of course for more room) and I had to suck it in so hard that I almost didn't get my seatbelt closed. I was absolutely mortified and was panicked that I'd have to ask for an extender. It finally clicked but just barely. I didn't even tell my husband at first because I was so devastated.
Tiny Dagger No. 4: It began during my pregnancy, but never went away....my big round belly. I am now that person that asks for a table because I'm afraid I won't be able to fit in the booth. The first time it happened, I was at a Ruby Tuesdays and had to ask the waitress to be re-seated. It was absolutely mortifying.
I could go on and on with these but really what's the point? Because they are ONLY memories and I have a lifetime of good ones to make up for the bad ones. This surgery will bring me closer to the real me who is stuck inside this extra large frame!
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