Re-visiting Surgery

After a very painful session with my therapist in which I spoke about my feelings about my appearance, she suggested it was time to address my weight again.  Now that the littlest one is 4 months old (ack!).  So I called up the IMBS and asked what I would have to do in order to get back on the schedule for surgery.  Turns out, all I needed was lab work, a meeting with my surgeon, Dr. B, and a consultation with the nutritionist.

In just two weeks, I went from no hope to being extremely hopeful.  I've completed all of those things already and my surgery is scheduled for December.  I can't believe it is happening so fast.  And even better, I am able to have the VSG which is now covered by my insurance!  What a difference a year can make!

I am really looking forward to this new journey and all that I will be able to achieve.  I don't care about being skinny.  I just want to keep up with my girls and enjoy them.  I can't even tell you how embarrassing and frustrating it is not to be able to climb on a ride with your 2 year old on vacation.  Next year - I'm going to be able to do it.  There is no other option.  I won't miss any more experiences with my girls because of my weight. 

I'm practically giddy!

Impatiently Waiting.

I'm a control freak.  I admit it.  The fact that I cannot control when I will go into labor is the most frustrating, anxiety-causing issue in my life right now.  I'm 38w 4d at this point.  I've been 3cm and 70% for over 3 weeks now.  I guess the fact that the doc told me I would be ready to go any day - I took that quite literally.  And yet here I still sit - pregnant.  Very very pregnant.  Now I understand the plight of the full-term pregnant woman who gulps down castor oil in hopes of evicting their little guest.  Which I'm strongly considering right now!

At my 37 week u/s, they estimated the baby to be 9lbs already which sent everyone into a panic.  The OB office starts talking about a c-section already and I went from not being worried at all to having full blown panic attacks overnight.  Yesterday, at my 38 week appt., I told the doc that I would like to try for a vaginal delivery first, regardless of the estimated size because I don't want to rely on an estimate for major surgery.  If I cannot push this little one out, then fine, we can do a c.  She told me she was "not enthusiastic" about my decision but that it was, of course, my decision at this point.

People have 9lb and 10lb babies all the time!  What is the big deal if I want to try and push her out first?  Because they'd rather have the OR prepped and scheduled for me instead of rushing me in?  I'm sorry but that's not a good enough reason.  I'm guessing my Gestational Diabetes and the medication I'm on had something to do with her size, but my sister was 9.4lbs when she was born so it could just be that we make big babies!  DD didn't have time to cook all the way or she might have been just as big.  We'll never know that one!

Anyway, I'm still pregnant.  No signs of labor as of yet.  Doc said they probably won't let me go to due date which is only 10 days away.  I have an appt Wednesday for another size u/s and then they'll make their decision on induction.  So send all your labor and delivery fairy dust my way please :)

TICK TOCK!!!

Wow....time is just slipping by!

Is it mid-February already??  I can't believe how fast this is going.  I feel like just yesterday I got the news that rocked my whole world.  We did find out we are having another little girl :)  Suspicion confirmed!

I've been doing great with my blood pressures and maintaining my weight....HOWEVER...I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes last week.  I know that GD is pretty common these days but I was truly disappointed to hear the news.  I felt like I had been doing so well aside from catching the plague (so I call it) in early January.  The nurse and dietician came to my house on Saturday to go over everything (star studded treatment - lol).  And yes - I the wimpiest person ever -I have to prick my finger 4 stinking times a day!!  If my finger bleeds too much I start to get oogly.  I made the nurse stop after she referenced "milking my finger".  :SHUDDER::

My parents find this hilarious because I get weak just thinking about bleeding and they always bring up this episode of Frasier that had them in hysterics when Niles cut his finger and kept passing out because it reminded them of me.  If you have a few minutes - watch this - it still makes me laugh and cry!

Otherwise, DD's room is nowhere near completion and I'm starting to get a little panicky.  I mean, it's almost her birthday which means my due date is less than 3 months away!!!!!  GULP.

Let's hope this sweet LO will keep cooking until I'm full term!  No early surprises this time!  Oh and here is pic of our 2nd daughter-to-be!

Farewell 2011!

As I prepare to bid 2011 farewell, I have been reflecting on what an amazing year it has been.  Of course there were ups and downs but I really think that I have grown as a person this year.

The number one lesson I learned from 2011 is that "life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" or that "everything happens for a reason".  If you would have told me this time last year that I would now be expecting our 2nd baby girl, I would have laughed in your face!  Our plan was to wait 3 years, so that I could spend time working on my health.  I spent the first 8 months of 2011 planning to have gastric bypass surgery and as it happens, in a matter of seconds that plan was obsolete.  I did spend some time grieving my surgery, I will not lie because I had worked so very hard to get there and it felt like months of work and planning had been wasted.  But what really got me through is that this little baby really wants to be in our lives and even an IUD would not stop her!  So if life has other plans for me - so be it!

Another lesson I have learned in 2011 is that I was meant to be a mother.  There is nothing I love more than seeing my daughter smile or hearing that charming giggle.  It takes all of my power not to crack a smile or laugh when I see her being naughty.  Is the job exhausting?  Absolutely.  But it's worth every back-breaking, sleepy-eyed minute!  I'm nervous about having two kids to chase around but this new little girl is welcome in our hearts by all means! 

In a related lesson, I have learned in 2011 that I'm much stronger than I have ever given myself credit for.  I think that many people in my situations would have fallen apart but I have forged through.  And I have kept my doctors happy with my blood pressure and my weight.  I wasn't sure if I could do it - but I am.  This gives me courage to move forward and to even hope for an uncomplicated labor and delivery. (KNOCK ON WOOD).

Every year brings with it new adventures and new heartaches - there were definitely a few this year.  But the beauty of ringing in the new year is to leave your painful past behind and welcome the future!  I am a very lucky woman to have such wonderful people to share my life with and I wouldn't change a minute of 2011.  So thank you most of all to Shawn and Samantha for being my partners in crime and to the rest of my amazing family and friends who have made this year so bright!

Distractions!

Since last time I wrote a little about re-using DD's nursery - I thought I'd share some photos of it:

I apologize for the slight disarray - but this is pretty clean to how my toddler keeps it now!  We worked so hard on it and I just love it!  Anyway, I figure if it's a boy we can just change out any pink things and if it's another girl - it's perfect just the way it is.

For our girly toddler room I am creating for DD, I imagine something like this:

However, I have a feeling it won't be quite that elaborate! Lol.  That giant rooster thing is kind of cool but clashes with our theme, which will be FAIRIES.  squeeee!  I'm so excited to get started on it after the holidays....hear that honey??  Better get cracking on moving that office crap out!

Oh and we'll be having our anatomy scan on Tuesday!  Hopefully this little McGyver cooperates!

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

Our anatomy scan is scheduled for December 20th. It seems so far away. I'm trying to be patient because otherwise I'll lose my marbles. Hence my obsessions with holiday shopping and planning DD's bedroom (currently the office).  We decided to reuse our beautiful nursery that we worked so hard to put together for the new LO.  I'm excited to finally do something girly for DD!  DH rolled his eyes when I showed him all the beautiful hues of pink and purple we could choose from.  hee hee. 

All in all I just truly love this time of year and picking out gifts for those special people in your life. It really fills me with joy!  I'm am one of those people listending to holiday music and singing/smiling in my car.  And the holiday lights just make my heart so full.

I'm also helping to plan a bridal shower for my sister-in-law (but no deets in case she reads this); a 2nd birthday party for DD; a 30th bday extravaganza for one of my BFFs and a baby shower for another BFF.  Gaaaah!  I'm not busy or anything.  I love planning stuff like this though - I'm in heaven...really!

I'm going to start thinking about this new year and make some resolutions.  I'll share them with you when I can!

Thanksgiving Eve Ultrasound

I'm 16w2d today and had another ultrasound this afternoon.  I was really excited for it because I was secretly hoping they could determine the sex of the baby by now.  Much to my dismay, our u/s tech was extremely cold and unfriendly.  She did not crack a smile at any of my jokes!  That B*TCH.  Anyway, she informed us it was way too early to know if it's pink or blue. :(  Also, she printed out the lamest of all the images she captured.  We got two pictures labeled "FACE" and it was just a black head shape with no features or anything.  I was sooooo disappointed.  While she was working, I saw the full baby, he/she sucking their thumb, etc. on her screen and we got the "FACE"?!  I threw the pictures away I was so mad.  Although I'm regretting that decision now because I'm pretty sure my ss# is on that thing.  Oh well.

Then she told me I had to wait 4 weeks to come back even though the tech last month told me that I could come back in 6 weeks (which would mean 2 weeks from today's). Grrrrr.  I guess the cold-hearted tech should have stayed home today if she wasn't interested in doing my ultrasound the day before Turkey day. 

Okay.  I totally feel better now that I shared my disappointing experience with you.  I am a firm believer that medical providers should have a certain bedside manner dealing with the public.  Fake the smile damnit - I don't care if you hate your job!  I want you to be just as excited about my baby as I am!