After many hours of therapy, we have come to the conclusion that whatever I am doing right now is not working for me. I can't get motivated. I can't get moving. It's terrible and makes me feel even worse about myself. My fat clothes are getting tight! I am on a dangerous path.
I'm scared. I saw an article that obese people live an average of 22 YEARS less than their normal weight counterparts. 22 years?! That's alot of time to miss. That's my grandchildren growing up. I can't miss that! Have you seen the 600lb mom? I don't want to set that kind of example for my daughter or my future children.
I currently weight 300lbs, give or take a few depending on the day. My BMI is a whopping 47 which puts me in the morbidly obese category. Morbidly obese is a scary term. It makes me think of hideous disgusting people who can't move out of bed - but that's not me. Not yet anyway.
My point is that I mentioned bariatric surgery to my therapist and she seemed to think it would be a great option for me given my age and such. So on Tuesday, my husband and I went to an information session at our local hospital. It was very helpful but surgery is scary. Especially when it is elective and this isn't like having a tooth removed!
I have an intake appointment on Monday to get evaluated and then to determine if this would be right for me. They perform four different types of surgery: restrictive (lap band); gastric sleeve, Rouxen Y and the other is too hard to pronounce or spell. I'm thinking about opting for the gastric sleeve which is when they remove the large portion of your stomach and create a banana shaped stomach.
Obviously, surgery does not automatically make you skinny. There is a whole after-care program that I would have to follow to lose weight and stay healthy. I still have to exercise and eat properly but the surgery is helpful for people who have more than 100lbs to lose.
Right now I am dealing with a lot of negative nellies and anti-bariatric surgery talk. My friends and family don't seem to understand how important it is for me to be healthy again. They seem to think that I just need to "eat righ and move more". Just do it they say - why do you need surgery? I need a push, a shove, a jump start. My joints ache constantly and I'm only 30 years old. Exercising is painful. Just everyday movement can be painful and exhausting. If that was all it took then I'd be skinny by now.
This surgery is something I think that may help me get to a place where I can feel good again and feel comfortable exercising. Wish me luck on my appt. on Monday. And hopefully if I am approved, the insurance company will cover it.
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